Homeless People

Different negative thoughts usually go through people's minds when coming across a homeless person. Thoughts like "oh, another bum!", or "they're probably just another junkie who wants money to buy more drugs or alcohol." We all jump to conclusions, but have we ever stopped to have a conversation with any homeless person we've come across? I've never stopped to talk to a homeless person.

We've all seen a homeless person at a freeway exit, others at a street red light, outside of a grocery store, at a gas station, etc. We judge them by how they look. If they're wearing somewhat clean clothes we may assume "they're probably not homeless--they're probably just looking for a handout." Why do we judge the homeless so harshly, I know I have sometimes been a harsh judge myself.

Today I took my mom to the doctor for an appointment (she doesn't drive). I dropped her off at the clinic and went to get lunch with my sister.  She called me when she was ready so I went back to the clinic to pick her up. When I got there my sister called her cell telling her we were there again. She said she would be right out of the office. When she was out she came to my window (I didn't know why she wasn't getting in the car). I rolled my window down and she asked me, "Do you have a water bottle or something? I was just talking to this man outside the clinic. Poor man, he needs insulin but they can't see him at the clinic today. He was to wait until tomorrow. He had an alcohol problem, but he's been sober for some time now and he has nowhere to go. He doesn't have any food or water and he was recently laid off work. He's going to stay outside of the clinic for the night." I grabbed an extra plastic water bottle I had in my car and put in some cold water I had in my refillable bottle. I didn't have any snack or anything in the car to give him, but my mom told me she wanted to bring him some food later. She then took off to give him the water bottle.

At that moment, I saw my mom in a different light. My mom is a wonderful person and I may have been blind all this time because I didn't see that. Before today I didn't see how big of a heart she really has. I have even thought of her as heartless because she's not your typical nurturing mother who tells you she loves you everyday. I can't even think of the last time she said "I love you" to me. This moment made me see that if she cares enough about a stranger to give/ provide him with nourishment, how can I think she doesn't care about me?

I'm glad that with the few homeless people I've run into I have provided spare change if I have it. One time I even gave the homeless person a World's Finest chocolate I had just bought (it was the only food I had with me). I guess I got my heart from my mom because sometimes I do act exactly like her. Her actions today have forever changed my view on homeless people. I won't be as harsh of a judge the next time I come across a person who is asking for some spare change. After all, you never know how they ended up that way or if you could ever end up on the streets, especially in this economy.

You never know, this could be you...

New Weekend Job...Kind of

So I have a new job...kind of. I went for an interview out in Sherman Oaks yesterday. It's for a consultant/ marketing rep type of position. There were about thirty women there (they apparently have men interview on a separate day than women). It was more of a panel interview and they said they would call back the ones they would want to come on board for training (back in Sherman Oaks) on Friday (today). I got a call a few hours later! I didn't get too excited because I wanted to see how many of the women would be there today. 

I had to drive all the way out there again (luckily the actual job itself will take place in the O.C. surrounding area). There were about twelve women today for the training, so that made me feel good. So I won't go into the details of the position because I signed a confidentiality agreement (about the training material), but I will say that I don't know exactly how this will pan out. This position is only on weekends (Sat. 11-6 PM & Sun 11-2 PM). This will be a part time thing with financial growth opportunity in regards to bonuses. I will be treated as an independent sub contractor for this company, which gave me a few ideas about my future endeavors... 

I would've been very skeptical about something like this in the past, but I think I'm much more open minded and willing to try new stuff. If it doesn't work out, oh, well.  At least I tried it out. Plus, I think it can help me in developing my people skills and ability to talk to strangers. So the worse that can happen is I take is as a learning experience and better myself. We'll see what happens.

I feel that since I left my last actual job I've gotten a boost of self confidence in every aspect of my life. I feel as though I'm more outspoken with nothing to hide. Although that can sometimes get me in trouble because I don't always think before I speak and sometimes I can hurt people's feelings when I'm too blunt. 

And again I got a funny, lovey feeling when seeing the L.A. skyline again. :)

The Glamorous Los Angeles-Traffic

People who live outside of Southern California aren't too familiar with L.A. traffic. Well, I'm somewhat familiar with the traffic there. I was born in Los Angeles and when I was 7 my parents decided to move to Anaheim (right next to Disneyland). When I finished high school I went to UC Santa Barbara. To get there I had to go through Los Angeles. Even on the weekends there's traffic! I usually tried to stay away from L.A. if I didn't have to go over there. Recently I've noticed I keep driving more & more out there. What's weird is I can't pin point the reason for me to want to be in L.A. I'm in love with the city. I just think there is so much to do out there: museums, restaurants, landmarks, nightclubs, etc. It just seems like you'd never run out of things to do.

Yesterday I drove out there for an interview in West Hollywood. It took me 1.5 hours to get there. When I left I went all the way down Santa Monica Blvd. from West Hollywood to Hollywood, to reach the 101, the scenery changed. It went from nice, contemporary architecture and upscale stores to a crappy-looking area where stores had 99 cent advertisement signs on their windows (see pic below). This is the side that people don't see in L.A.

Just down the street from there you see another store that has a big posted sign that advertises their many 98 cent items (see pic below in the top left corner).

I took these pics while driving because I guess it never really occurred to me that regular people live there too. For some reason I just didn't think about the regular city-like features of L.A. My observations on this day brought those things back to light for me.

Traffic-wise, there was plenty of it. Cars go so slow, but what can you expect with only 3 lanes in a city that has 4+ million people? Traffic's always bad. It's actually either bad (which is normal) or horrible (which is bad):

Eventually I always go back. Tomorrow I have an interview in Sherman Oaks, so I'm sure I will run into some traffic (I know Sherman Oaks is far, the actual job would take place in Orange County). It took me 1.5 hours to get back home. So all in all, I was on the road for 3 hours.

It's hard to explain though, everytime I see the L.A. skyline, I have a weird feeling of separation. That's when I think to myself, Good Bye L.A. I'll be back. Maybe it's because I was born in L.A. and I have childhood memories of the place, or maybe it's because I somehow feel connected to the city. I don't know what it is, but I love it, except for the traffic-I could do without that.

L.A. skyline view as I'm driving away...

Living on a Budget

It's so hard to live on a budget. I've always lived paycheck to paycheck, but now that I'm unemployed I really have to watch what I spend. I have reduced down to generic brands (except toothpaste & shampoo), use coupons all the time, and have completely cut out shopping for clothes. I just went to Target today and totally used coupons! I will only be good for about 2-3 more weeks (it's been a week with no job now).

I've had a weird feeling because I don't have any work related stress; that's the good part. All I did last week was dance (Tuesday-Friday). There was a ballet folklorico workshop I attended; it was a great workout! The best part was that it was so much fun. I compared myself to the other girls who were there. They would complain about being tired and when they danced they weren't that into it. I remembered what they felt because I used to feel that way. I felt different because I felt like I had given up a lot to be able to attend the dance workshop that week. I gave up the security of getting a regular paycheck. It's a very scary feeling.


At this moment I feel like there are endless possibilities and I'm trying to explore them as fast as possible. Finances keep me from exploring my possibilities for a longer time period. It must be nice to have the kind of time you want. Unfortunately my parents can not help me out financially. They can only help me by not charging me rent and feeding me (most of the time), which I greatly appreciate. I guess I didn't fully realize everything I would be giving up.

I haven't hung out with my friends as much because I can't spend too much money. Most of the times I hang out with friends I end up spending some money, whether it's going out for lunch/dinner, a movie, the county fair, etc. There goes my social life! I also worry about having enough money for my best friend's wedding, considering I'm the maid of honor (turns out there are quite a few expenses that come along with the title). I know my boyfriend is happy about the not going out and spending money because he would rather just stay in and watch a movie to avoid spending money. I guess I didn't realize how much money I used to spend until now that I don't have the money to spend anymore. I just think about how much money I could have right now if I wouldn't have spent it on stupid stuff like going out shopping for clothes or eating out all the time. I guess I might be turning into a hermit because I'm staying in a lot more now. Well, I can't lose the optimism. Gotta keep my hopes up because without hope I am left with nothing. I'm sure I'll get over this hump...eventually.

Anger Management

Many people have seen the movie Anger Management. It's a funny movie and makes one laugh. It almost seems as if Adam Sandler's character doesn't need anger management classes. The people who are taking anger management classes usually do so because of a court order, because they have to. Those who really have anger management issues are the ones who don't take the classes.


I have been told I should take anger management classes. The one who told me was my younger brother (4 years younger). The last time he told me was probably 2-3 years ago. I was such an angry person then. Even still he tells me sometimes, but now i think it's his own exaggeration. My 16 year old sister doesn't think i have anger issues anymore. What matters is what I think, right? I don't know anymore. Sometimes I'm not sure if I overreact.


Yesterday I had an issue with the boyfriend. By now I'm pretty sure he knows that when I get mad, I'm mad. What I like is that he gives me space and time for me to cool off. We've had an event planned for a few months now. This event is taking place in November. Yesterday we were having lunch with his mom and her girlfriend and he's telling his mom about a comic book convention that he's going to go to with his friends. He mentioned it is in November. So I casually asked him "when in November is it?" He said, "the [respective] weekend in November." I then said, "that's the event." He just stayed quiet. Then his mom asked more about the event and suggested he could maybe make it to both. Her girlfriend also made some suggestions. He began taking their suggestions into real consideration. After all, where there's a will there's a way, right?


I felt like I was boiling up inside. I could almost feel steam coming out of my head because I was so angry. I didn't say much anymore because it was useless for me to say anything at this time. It was time for me to go home shortly after and he walked me out to my car. This is where I let it all out and in a way blew up. To me it seemed like my event meant nothing to him. Certainly not important enough since he forgot about it and made other plans on top of those we already had. I wasn't mad because it's a comic book thing or because he was hanging out with his friends; I can understand because I like to do things I like and hang out with my friends also. I was angry because of the principle of the whole thing; double booking and me being left hanging.


When we first started going out I made it clear to him that one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells me they're going to do something or go somewhere with me and then they flake out. The only way it's acceptable is for some emergency or last minute family thing that comes up that is really important. So he said he wouldn't go to the comic book thing with his friends & he would go to my event. Somehow this didn't make me feel any better.


Later in the day I saw him again. I had cooled off and had time to think. I thought to myself I might've been overreacting. While we were talking he said something that really bothered me. I asked him "if you were to go to your comic book thing, how would you make it to that?" His response, "It doesn't matter. I'm not going because I don't want to get in trouble." I felt offended because I knew he was referring to getting in trouble by me. I was simply asking because I was genuinely interested in how he could make both events since I know it's something he really wants to go to.


Anyway, at night he was hanging out with his friends. We had agreed I would see him after since I had something else to do also. My thing ended a bit earlier so I tried calling him a few times. Each call went straight to voicemail. So I guess you could say that added fuel to the fire of how I was already feeling. He had told me to call him and/or text him when I was done to see where I could meet him (where he was at with his friends or at his home). This just got me angry again, considering I was already cooled off. So I just headed home.


I was just angry all over and was trying to hold back. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, right? He called me after and we spoke on the phone and everything was still bothering me. I still felt mad. I was just mad at everything. It's been a day and I'm still mad, not as mad as yesterday, though.

What makes someone NEED anger management classes? Do I need them? Is my anger for a good reason?

Going out, CLUBBIN'!

So I went to a club last night. I went to EMBER nightclub in Anaheim. I went with one of my girlfriends. One of her guy friends was celebrating his birthday with a group of other friends. She just wanted to meet them separately because she doesn't like to drink much or get too crazy. Ladies in free before 10:30 PM on guestlist! That's always a plus for women! I can't complain.


Once we got in we went straight to the dance floor, which was pretty empty. We were on the main dance floor which was playing latin stuff like spanish rock, merengue, cumbias, etc. Then her friends got there and we began dancing with them. An hour into it and I was already sweaty--good thing I wore my hair up! I enjoyed dancing with her friends because it eliminated regular, club-going guys from approaching us from behind and pretending they're doing you (that always gets on my nerves). The good thing about dancing with people you know (or people that your friends know) is that they will respect you & your bubble when you dance together.


We went to the restroom, and when we got back to the dance floor we started dancing with her two guy friends. The one I was dancing with left and then some random guy approached me. So I thought nothing of it and danced with him. What a surprise that he started dancing too close from behind. So after the one song I danced with him I just told him I would keep dancing with my friends. He smiled and shook my hand thanking me for dancing with him. I thought that was really nice. 


That so would not have happened at a club in L.A. In L.A. a guy would come up behing you trying to hump you and if you tell him you don't want to dance they give you the evil eye and sometimes curse at you or something. They get pissed off because they just want to get laid that night. I just like clubbing because I love to dance! It has to be a good DJ though, that plays a lot of electronic dance music, especially since I know how to shuffle now (Oh, I did shuffle at the club last night, lol...good thing I wore flats).


So, back to last night. I danced with some other guy and this guy was dancing facing me and had space in between us. We probably danced for like 3 or 4 songs. Then I just went back to dancing with my friend and her friend--three-way dance, lol. All in all I had a very fun night! Very good work out, since I didn't drink. It had been about 2 years or so since I had gone to Ember nightclub. It was pretty good. They used to not let anyone in if they didn't get valet parking there. They don't do that anymore, so that's good. I can't wait to go again next time! (I'm so glad I have a boyfriend who doesn't get jealous or anything about me dancing with other guys. It's just dancing, and some guys just overreact because they're insecure.)

Officially Unemployed

As of today, I am officially unemployed! I decided I no longer want to be a slave to my job. There's so much uncertainty. The old me would not be happy about this. Since I've decided to take my life in a new direction, it feels great! I thought about it last night, kept going over the pros and cons about leaving this company (That's typical me over analyzing everything). It's a weird feeling because I've never done this before.

Last night I structured what my school schedule will be (for dance classes)- I have a primary schedule, but I also have an alternate schedule prepared in case I don't get in to my first choices. Either way I will be doing ballet, jazz, modern, social dance (tango, waltz, etc.), hip hop, and possibly Afro-Caribbean dance. I'm so excited about only focusing on dance! Today I might even start a folklorico workshop at Cal Poly Pomona (crossing my fingers). Aside from that I will be doing folklorico every Friday and Sunday with the group "Ballet Folklorico Internacional" and my first performance with the group will be July 31 at the Baldwin Park Performing Arts Center- I'm excited about performing again!

One of my favorite quotes is "On my death bed I would rather regret things I did, than to regret the things I did not do." If I regret anything now, I can at least say I did it!

So cliche, but "the world is my oyster!" The possibilities are endless!